For Kelsey / Judy, Mom To Jamie-leigh Britt (Another angel mom )Read >>
For Kelsey / Judy, Mom To Jamie-leigh Britt (Another angel mom )
The tide recedes but leaves bright seashells on the sand; the sun goes down but gentle warmth still lingers on the land. The music stops and yet it echoes on in sweet refrain... for every joy that passes, something beautiful remains.
My heart aches for your family over the loss of your beautiful daughter.
I think of you often and especially now that my Dad passed away. You both had such great smiles and laughs. You always made everyone feel good even if they were feeling down. I wish I would have gotten to know you more as you were becoming a teenager. My memories are all from when you were my bubbly little cousin who loved to come to Aunt Terrie's house. I love you and miss you.
Thinking of you / Nikki Wagner (cousin)
Kesley I think about you often and ecspcially now that my Dad died. You both had such great smiles and laughs. You knew how to make everyone else feel good even if they were feeling down. I wish I could have gotten to know you more as you were becoming a teenager. My memories are from when you were little. You were always my bubble little cousin who made me smile. I love you and I miss you. Close
Thank you for visiting my angel Nicky. I'm so glad I saw your candle at another site and decided to come meet Kelsey. She's beautiful and I'm sure she took a huge chunk of your heart with her to heaven. My heart goes out to each of you as I know this journey is hard when our children are called home too early.
Thank you for sharing about your angel picture of Kelsey. I had chills all over! What a precious gift even after she has left this physical world. I know what a joy it was to have ours from Nicky. Since the phone only works after it's flipped open there was no way to take a picture closed and in a pocket. There was a second picture about 30 minutes later that stumped us. We were clueless as to what it was. Since I have become friends with another mom from MO. I showed it to her and she said it's the "Tunnel of Light" a spirit crosses through when they leave this earth! Wow! I'm still in awe what our children can do to bring us comfort and hope when it's seems our world has ended. May Kelsey continue to bless each of you with signs that she's always with you where ever you go. Love never dies!
My Darling Angel, it's been over 1yr n 3 months Since you took Gods hand and left us all behind And now such heartbreak is mine How i wish you were still here all the time And since you left us all behind still look for that little girl of mine your face and smile will be with me til the end of time now your mom is dying, surly there's something you can do to help her get through Kelsey Iam the one who found you that day and i done everything to keep you from going away Please let me know that it wasnt me, That you just wanted to be free. All your family and friends love n miss u so much please,please try to come back and keep in touch! This is your Dad and I love and miss you so very much.
youtube music video"OUR ANGEL KELSEY" / Mom &. Dad (parents)Read >>
youtube music video"OUR ANGEL KELSEY" / Mom &. Dad (parents)
It's a very nice video with lots of your pics,including the very last pic ever taken of "U",was taken the night b4 you were buried!We Love & Miss You KELSEY ANN BRANDSASSE <3 Close
A Bereaved Parents Wishlist / Joni (friend)Read >>
A Bereaved Parents Wishlist / Joni (friend)
Bereaved Parents Wish List
I wish my child hadn't died. I wish I had her back. Y I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my child's name. My child lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that she was important to you also. Y If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child, I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my child and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both. Y Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me. I need you now more than ever. Y I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child; my favorite topic of the day. Y I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my child's death pains you too. I wish you would let me know these things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug. Y I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over. These first years are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child until the day I die. Y I am working hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover. I will always miss my child and I will always grieve that she/he is dead. Y I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or "be happy". Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself. Y I don't want to have a "Pity party", but I do wish you would let me grieve. I must hurt before I can heal. Y I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you. Y When I say, "I'm doing okay", I wish you could understand that I don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily. Y I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky. Y Your advice to "take it one day at a time" is excellent advice. However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time. Y Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone. I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died, a big part of me died with her/him. I am not the same person I was before my child died and I will never be that person again. Y I wish very much that you could understand ~ understand my loss and my grief. But, I pray daily that you will never understand.
I found this on another site. It said it was by Compassionate Friends
ONE YEAR LATER 3-5-07 / MOM And DAD
I feel like I’ve just existed And now it’s been a year. I don’t know how I’ve lived and breathed Without you being here. I know you lived your lifetime As short as that seems to me, But the pain in my heart is still so great, Yet I know your spirit is free. At times I think I hear you The thoughts come to my mind. I struggle for the sound of your voice, But your voice I cannot find. Yet you come to me in many ways So I know you did not die, You want to tell me that you’re close, And to please stop asking Why. Our lives on earth seem all too brief, Or brief as it seems to me. But where you are is forever, God calls that Eternity! Close
I am so sorry, God Bless You All / Terie Burkeen (I'm Eli Burkeen,Nathan Tucker s brothers Nana )Read >>
I am so sorry, God Bless You All / Terie Burkeen (I'm Eli Burkeen,Nathan Tucker s brothers Nana )
I am so sorry about Kelsey. I didn't know your daughter except what Anna has told me about her and what I have read here. I did know Nathan, have known him since God loaned him to us . Eli his brother is my grandson and I have always thought of Nate as my adopted grandson too. Well when I found out about Kelsey my heart just broke for you all cause I know what Anna and Josh were and still are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Kelsey was such a pretty girl and I know she made a beautiful Angel. I think about she and Nathan in Heaven alot. I pray that God will put His warm and loving arms around you all and comfort you in a way that He can only do. Take care and God bless is my prayer. Sincerely , Terie Burkeen
With sympathy and understanding / Loni V. Stel (none)
I have just read the newspaper article which linked to this memorial page and . . . I am so sorry we share the same grief. My heart hurts with you as I understand too well.
We also lost a 16 year old son to this "game" two weeks before Christmas 2004.
Im Sorry.. / Denise Gillentine-bruckner (passerby)
I wish i had the strenth to describe the same horror, that you found that day. On jan 22 2007. monday night. I found my son, in his bedroom. On the floor, with a belt around his neck. i cant go into detail the way you did. Its a nightmare I cant get through a night without reliving. You must have some kind of strenth to tell such a horrific story in such detail. A story that as I read, brought back the night I to found my son. I know all to well your pain. And I am sorry that its one we have to share.. Close
My deepest sympathies / Jamie Perano (passer-by)
Dear Family and friends of Kelsey,
I am terribly sorry for the loss of such a beautiful girl. It is never easy to lose a child or a friend, no mattter what the circumstances. I know because my cousin (my best friend since birth) committed suicide at age 14. We too, thought it was an accident. Like a cry for help, but her actions did end her life because I think she just wasn't thinking. Not a day goes by when I don't think about her. It'll be 11 years Jan 17. Time makes it easier, but by no means heal the pain. No one will ever know why, we're just left with an emptiness that part of us died with them that day and there will never be anything in this world or the next that could possibly be able to fill the void (short of reunification). I know it's a hard pill to swallow as I've been choking on it for almost 11 years now. If ever any of you need a shoulder or just wanna talk and get things off your chest, feel free to email me. It really does help to talk to others who have been through this, too. You're not alone. I hope someday you can find your own form of peace with this tragedy. God bless and have a Merry Christmas. Close
THE DAY YOU (WE) DIED ! / Dad (father)
That monday morning....(March,5,2007) started out just like any other school day.At 6 am i opened your bedroom door and grabed your foot.......you sat up and said i'am up daddy.You took your shower and asked me to write you $ 18.00 check for your 8th grade year book.As i wrote your check i started to ask what was the date......you said the 5th b4 i even could finish asking whats the date. The last time i saw and spoke to you while you were still alive was about 6:40 am......i laid your check on the corner of your bed and said here's your check........you told me thank-you,i told you not to run off and leave it lay there...........you looked at me and said.....I SAID THANK-YOU....we both laughed and i then left for work. Now this is where the day starts to become wierd.....after looking back on it.I have always worked all the over time i could........but i didnt want to stay on this day......but had no choice.Now its 4:30pm and i've just got off work,I always stop by your mother's work and spend atleast an hour with her b4 coming on home. Not on this day tho.............I came straight home and was home around 4:48pm,thats when i could tell someone had fed and watered the dogs.When i went into the house,Jade' was the first one i saw.......she told me no one had fed the dogs but i knew better.I then began to look for you.......just to tell you thank-you.I looked for you in your room,my room ,Tyler's room,the living room,and the bathroom.........you where no where to be found! No big deal......it was a warm day,one of the first warm days of the year.I just assumed you were riding your bike,walking or jogging.It was a very pretty day.So i started gathering up all the trash in the house and took it outside,then began working on the bag of aliminum cans.I grabed the bag of cans and an empty box and headed toward the shed.As i walked toward the shed i looked around to see if you were anywhere around the house........but i didnt see you anywhere!Now when i reached the shed,the doors were closed but not latched.I opened the doors and the first thing i noticed was your bike,then i saw a rafter board was broke.Thought to myself that someone had been messing around in our shed.I then took 2 steps inside the shed and one step to the left.Put down the box and bag of cans.......in the far right corner of the shed is where my eyes focused next!There is where you sat,leaning up agaist the leg of the bench,head turned to your left and tilted slightly down.I could see the belt around your neck......and everything just clicked.I screamed your name as i ran toward you.....you just looked like you had just passed out.When i reached you i went for the belt.......it wasnt even tight around your neck,but yet you were still passed out!I picked you up and tried to take you out side of the shed,but there was too much stuff in my way.I had no choice but to lay you down,right there where i found you.I checked for a heart beat ,but couldnt find one.You were still very warm and had real good color. I reached for my phone,but realized i had taken it off and laid it down on the kitchen counter.I know time is everything ,so i began cpr.As i blew the first breath of air into your lungs.....all i could hear was a gurggling sound.(had no clue what i was hearing) I then began the chest compressions........when i looked back at your face.....it was covered in puke!Now i know what that gurggling sound was.I screamed at the top of my lungs for help ......but no one would ever come!After doing cpr for a couple of minutes,i had no choice but to stop so i could call 911 and get help on the way.After doing that i handed the phone to Tyler,he could talk to the operator,i had to get back to doing cpr on you.I worked on you for another 12 minutes b4 a police officer got there,which he done nothing but watch me do cpr on you by myself.It took the parimedics another 2 minutes to get there after the first police officer.They took over for me ,but wouldnt shock your heart,they just loaded you up and off we went.That was about 5:30pm.Then the next time i got to see you was at 6:45pm when they brought us back to you........just so the doctors could tell us that they had to stop and pronounce you dead!!!!! When i saw you laying there...i knew.....you no longer had any color...you were lifeless and so pale. The doctors told me that i had done everything right and that there was nothing else that could of been done.I will never be able to get them images out of my head,but i wouldnt want it any other way.I know for sure that i done everything i could to save you that day.....i wouldnt be able to say that about someone else if they had found you.(not 100% i couldnt) We know for certain that you had no intention on dying that day.Were just not for certain what it was you were doing tho! The state police detectives even ruled your death a accident,they couldnt find anything that would say anything other than an accident. We know the last month of your life was full of turmoil..........but we also know we have Michelle's mother to thank for that!!!!!!!!!! We all love and miss you so very,very much KELSEY ANN BRANDSASSE! We sure hope your resting in peace<3<3<3 love you always Dad Close
Myths on the death of a child-very well written / Mom Read >>
Myths on the death of a child-very well written / Mom
Myths on the death of a child-very well written
These are myths bereaved parents here every day, I found this article to so true I had to share.
The younger the baby/child, the less your pain will be
Truth: It may be true that society grants us less of a right to grieve for infants and stillborn babies, however, the truth is that the love of a parent is not contingent upon the amount of time we had with our child. Love simply cannot be measured in time. Some may try to "pro-rate" our grief. That is, if a ten-year-old dies, it is worth "x" amount of pain... if a one year old dies, it is worth "y" amount of pain... if a one day old dies, that is worth only "z" amount of pain. It seems ridiculous to bereaved parents. Consider this... Would it be easier to bury your child when you did or would it be easier to bury them one year later? It is an impossible question to answer. There is no easier time, no lesser pain. It is horrible whenever it happens.
It has been six months you should be over this
Truth: The truth is, you will never "be over" this pain. The pain never completely leaves. We will grieve our entire lifetime for the child we should have with us. When others think we should have gotten over it by now, they are confusing the significance of the death of a child with an event of much lesser significance. You get over the loss of a job, a broken bone or a friendship gone awry. The death of a child, at any age and from any circumstance, is a life changing and tragic event that will never be forgotten. You will however, eventually learn the skills necessary to assist you in dealing with the pain. Day to day life will never be "normal" and may never feel the way it used to, but time does help to ease the pain.
Another baby is the answer to your grief
Truth: Your deceased child's life is worthy of all the pain you feel. While another child will fill your empty, aching arms, it will never replace your other child. Allow yourself time to grieve your child. Do not rush yourself. Another baby may add more pressure on you, your surviving children, your spouse and your new child. Be cautious not to venture into an unprepared pregnancy, too soon after the death of your beloved child. For more information on how to recognize when you are ready for a subsequent pregnancy see.
You need to forget your baby / child and move on with life
Truth: Many people will ridicule you if; photographs of your deceased child are placed in your home, if you still attend support group meetings or if you memorialize your child years after his or her death. Your faithfulness to your child's memory is to be commended! Do not let others discourage your gift of dedication. The truth is, twenty years after the death of Elvis Presley, the whole country stops to recognize him with candlelight vigils in Grace land. The event is televised worldwide on CNN and every other news station and television station in the country. This is a completely acceptable practice which millions of Americans, young and old, partake in. Yet, the same communities would have grieving parents questioning their own sanity when they chose to participate in an event, quietly memorializing someone far more important in their life- their own child. Remember your child. Do not let others determine what is right for you. Remember and do not be ashamed!
Support Groups are for weak People
Truth: The truth is, that the death of a child is the most isolating and lonely event in a human's life. Many grieving parents say that friends become strangers and strangers become friends. The reason for this is clear. How can any one else possibly understand the depth of this pain if they had never experienced it before? An analogy I like to use is related to weight loss. Let's say I struggled with obesity all my life and finally made a decision to do whatever I needed to lose weight and become healthy again. Courageously, I check myself into a weight loss clinic. However, the mentor and counselor assigned to help me through my struggle with weight is 110 lbs and a size three, and she has never been overweight a day in her life. How in the world is she going to understand your pain, your struggles and your fears? She never can. It is unlikely that you will even feel comfortable relating to that person. Support groups are a safe haven for parents to go and share the deepest of their pain with others who have experienced the same feelings. Many support groups are full of strong and compassionate people who are dedicated to helping newly bereaved parents find hope and peace in their life.
You will soon be yourself again
Truth: The truth is, you probably died with your child. You may have remnant pieces of the former self remaining, however, you are unlikely to become exactly who you were before. Get to know who you are once again. Your child's death has changed many things about you and you will need time and patience to reacquaint yourself with the new person you have become!
Am I going Crazy
Truth: Every parent who has gone through the death of a child, feels as if they are crazy. The vast array of emotions can overwhelm us. Many of us feel emotions we never knew we could feel. It is frightening and shocking. The usual routine of day to day life suddenly annoys us. We feel out of place even amongst the closest of family and friends. We cannot attend baby showers or birthday parties. We may feel too weak and drained to get out of bed in the morning. Once enjoyed activities become dreaded tasks for us. Some parents are unable to perform at work, while others may become completely absorbed in their jobs as an attempt to escape the pain. Some parents express that the grief has become so unbearable, that they prayed God would take them while they sleep. It is a roller coaster ride. Some days we are able to laugh and feel joy again. While other days there seems a black cloud hanging over us the entire day. Who wouldn't feel crazy while undergoing all of these many emotions? You aren't crazy. You are a grieving parent, simply missing what should have been in your life. Be patient and kind to yourself. While the longing for your child will never disappear, time grants us moments of peace in between the tidal waves of pain. Allow those peaceful moments to bring you closer to your child's love and the gifts they have left for you to discover
cant imagine / Denise Gillentine-bruckner (passerby)
I am truly sorry for your loss. I am at a lost for too many words, because nothing I say will take away the hole left behind and the pain. I only know that your daughter will now grow up with my son, His name is austin if you would like to meet him
Austin Gillentine-Bruckner (1994 - 2007) He is quite the ladies man. He will make her laugh. I am sorry that we have this loss to share. Im sorry for your pain...
i understand completely / LeeAnne Sipple (member cga group )Read >>
i understand completely / LeeAnne Sipple (member cga group )
my 14 year old daughter, Mary Margaret died July 10,2005 under similar circumstances. i still struggle daily to attempt understanding why this tragedy occured. it was, and still is the last thing i would have expected. like kelsey, mary was popular, athletic, intelligent, and beautiful. i had never heard of "the choking game" until the medical examiner told me about this deadly teenage trend. my deepest sympathies to your family. i am so very sorry. LeeAnne Close
BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN. GONE TOO SOON! / Shari Whitehead (VISITOR)
AS I LOOKED AT YOUR SITE, FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL KELSEY, I CRIED. I LOST MY SON (YANNICK) APRIL 5, 2005. AGE: 16. IT IS SO UNFAIR, THAT OUR CHILDREN SHOULD GO BEFORE US. I KNOW ONLY TOO WELL, YOUR PAIN AND GRIEF. I WISH I COULD MAKE IT GO AWAY. YOU WILL BE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. KELSEY WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. FOREVER IN MY HEART.
KELSEY:
WE NEVER THOUGHT WE'D LOSE YOU PERHAPS, THAT WAS WRONG. YOU ALWAYS SEEMED A PART OF US THAT WOULD GO ON AND ON, THAT'S WHY OUR GRIEVING HAS NO END, HOWEVER HARD WE TRY OUR LOVE FOR YOU IS FAR TOO DEEP TO EVER SAY GOODBYE. WE THINK OF YOU, AS LIVING, IN THE HEARTS OF THOSE YOU TOUCHED, FOR NOTHING LOVED, IS EVER LOST AND YOU ARE LOVED SO MUCH. Close
Tributes and Condolences
